Temme how does it feel?

I can't believe I got time to write this post today. Ever since I have arrived in the US of A, life has been on a roller coaster and whenever people ask "How does it feel to be in US", I just wish I could be more precise in answering it. The only thought that comes to my mind is "Wish I had done my undergrad here". I would have been so different a person as far as knowing the subject is concerned". I just love the way the curriculum stuff is handled here. Its "full paisa vasool" for me after all the hard work they make you do in the assignments. And the amount of time you keep pondering on a problem after which something strikes all of a sudden is just an amazing feeling which I never experienced back in India and its reason- quite obvious right?.

Talking about life here: "Competing is what you do throughout the semester. Assignments is what you are hooked onto, and sleep?.."when was the last time I had a peaceful one?.. is what you will ask" But at the end of the day satisfaction guaranteed! And this is the part that keeps me going. Satisfaction does not include good grades though. You will be satisfied that you worked hard enough for the course but the curve compares your efforts with other students who are many more times sharper than you. So that makes a difference.

Time for fun is something you will find only at the end of the semester and if you are still able to find time for it during the semester, then I must say you are either superb at time management or you are definately not studying. But studies apart, life is peaceful. Although walking is something you will be doing most time of the day,it is very unlikely that it will make you tired. I had never before enjoyed walking so much. The only thing I dislike is the cold because I am not made for it. Winter in Mumbai or Pune used to be too much for me, so you can imagine my situation here, but somehow I have gotten used to it now with all the jackets and hand gloves and what not. It takes me five minutes to wear all that before leaving home. If nothing else, it surely makes me look fatter so that makes my mom happy to see my pictures.

Friday nights are heaven because although you still know you have to work on the assignments, just the thought that you are going to be home makes you feel better. Friday nights are when me and my roomie are motivated to cook some stuff other than sandwich and omlette which almost is the staple food during the weekdays.

Mid month and month end is the time when I happy because we get the paycheck and however small amount it may be, it makes me feel good about myself. Shopping is meant only for groceries. In fact, we don't use the word shopping when we mean groceries. We just say groceries, which is boring because the stuff we bring is almost the same everytime and we almost know which counter to go and what to pick to make the process faster.

Any kind of manual labor costs a lot here; exactly the opposite of what used to be in Mumbai. I used to love that part about Mumbai.People usually buy stuff online here. Once you stay here, the one thing you are bound to notice is, when it comes to time, they are very particular about it. If you don't reach on time , you are bound to miss many things, be it catching the shuttle or attending a seminar or class or even submitting an assignment.

Cooking food is something which can't be done daily and hearing any Indian recepie makes me feel nostalgic and I remember my mom's garam rotis that I used to have everyday for breakfast and still used to complain about having not having variety. My favorite dishes after coming here are anything that tastes remotely Indian, which is none unfortunately. I can't tell you how much I miss my fish and kokam kari! the total fish person that I am.

I truly loved watching out of the window when it snowed the first time after I came here. So excited was I, that I didn't even want my parents to miss it. I sometimes wonder how people stayed without skype before. It makes life so convenient. But technical problems do occur and then it becomes irritataing because when my mom said she couldn't see the snow actually falling, I had to collect a handful of snow to prove to her that it was really snowing.

I think there will be some generation which will also enjoy the transfer of food and smell online and then they will make the same comment about how our generation survived without it. That would be the ultimate discovery if anyone did make it work. How I wish my generation should be the fortunate one to make that statement. So that's all about my feelings on life in US till now. I am sure to experience many more things ahead, but I think I will save it for the future posts. :)

R for Reel-ity shows

Enough are the daily soaps! Now the audience needs some masala-gossip in the purest form. This has given way to the new mantra called Reality shows. But I am sure half of the janta watches it in anticipation of how much real can it get for them. Take for instance 'Rakhi Ka Swayamvar'. Now is she really going to marry one of them or should I be asking the other way round? The drama queen that she is, anyone can tell you that it is all a sham. I even heard that she has decided not to marry any one of them courtesy some news channel and that the finalists will be given the choice of huge amount of money or Rakhi Sawant. So what do we call this? Reel or real? Just getting the audience hooked onto it to increase the TRP and then winding up the show with no results is what a reality show is all about.

Well, lets leave Rakhi for a change. Another show 'Sach ka Samna' is ruining lives of couples by asking them very personal questions that even the husband or wife might not have asked each other. And they claim to measure the truth of the answer with the help of polygraph test which is not even the firmly established test for measuring the truth level. And what do the participants get in return by answering all of them truly - huge amount of money and a family wounded by facing the truth or must I say exposing the truth to the public? But any publicity be it good or bad is doing great for the channel, so no worries.On top of it, the show claims to bring families even closer by revealing the dirty secrets in people's lives. Never heard of this psychology. It still remains a mystery to me as to how this can possibly be achieved. How can it be real when there is so much money involved? But still they call them reality shows.

Now there is this new one called 'Is Jungle Se Mujhe Bachao' which is the Indian version of 'I am a celebrity. Get me out of here'. Yes and half of the reality shows are copied ideas. There are many more like the abominable 'Big Boss' with its abominable participants and their controversies and fights and all these shows have only one thing in common- wasting people's time! I would have never said this but looking at the theme of Indian reality shows these days makes me think our daily soaps are much better than that. At least they say 'All characters are fictional and bear no resemblance to any event'. There might be exceptions but the majority of the so called reality shows are just altering the reality and pretending to be real or using reality to increase TRPs and simply mint money.

Visa interview - What to do and What not to do

I know there are lots of sites and forums giving you advice on this one. But this is from my personal experience.

What to do

Well, lots of things here!

1. Make a checklist of documents. Arrange them properly in you folder and practise taking them out quickly from your folder when asked.
2. Prepare yourself for the interview just as you would for any job interview. Honesty matters but expressing the same in a smart way also does. Don't forget they already know a lot about you through the information in your DS forms.
3. Groom yourself well for the interview. Its always better to be formal than casual. Above all, don't forget to wear your confidence and smile.
4. Rehearse well for the questions that everyone knows are expected to be thrown at you during the interview. If you have a special circumstance like your brother/sister studying or working abroad, prepare yourself to answer those convincingly.
5. Make sure your finances are strong. By this I mean, not only the funds used for your education, but also the funds that remain for your parents after they spend their entire hard earned money on your education.
6. Carry supporting documents and proofs for every aspect that revolves around you. Be it your identity, academic record, extra curriculum or finances.
7. Memorize the figures of the funds used for education and also the annual income of your sponsors.
8. Sleep and eat well the day before the interview. I especially say this because I didn't and had some bad experience while waiting for my token to be called out. It felt like a test of my patience, with me feeling all sleepy and tired and on top of it no signs of my number being called out from any of the counters. It just adds to your exhaustion.
9. If you are the kind of person who gets tensed during such situations, avail of the lounge facility offered by VFS. It helps you relax and cool down.

What not to do

1. Do not argue with the visa officer.
2. Do not try to over explain. Be short, sweet and precise.
3. Do not give information unnecessarily when not asked.
4. Do not show any documents if the visa officer has not asked for it.
5. Do not contradict the information that you yourself have provided on the DS forms.
6. Do not carry documents just because everyone does. If you feel taking a document is unnecessary, confirm it with the consulate by calling them or emailing them. They usually give proper guidance for such things and will at least not mislead you.

Remember the visa officers have thousands of applicants that they need to cover everyday. They can hardly give you a minute or two. Its all up to how you communicate and convey the information that is being asked to you during this time. All they need to ensure is whether you are a genuine student with a genuine purpose. It just helps when you know what the other person expects from you. So understand that and prepare accordingly!

I would be remiss if I forget to thank my parents here, because it was only because of their efforts that I could procure all my documents on time under hard circumstances. And my brother who became the visa officer for me the day before and tried to grill me with questions. But his last words(which are usually the visa officer's positive last words to you) put a smile on my face and built up my confidence. Also thanks to the number of forums and seniors on those forums that helped to keep myself updated on this.

All the best to you guys in case you are reading this and are yet to give your visa interview!

Life in a waiting state

Whenever my friends asked me what I was upto, I always started it by saying "I am waiting for blah blah blah". I just got vexed by the waiting and thought would put it all in my post.

Waiting for an admit: This was a long wait. Since universities I had applied to were many, the waiting period had to be long.The university that you long to join always sends you its decision last. And hence you cannot take a decision before you hear from them.

Waiting for I20: Although I got an admit pretty early, the delivery of the I-20 got delayed to the limits. I got it at a time when half of my friends' visa interviews were done with & they were in the shopping state and this made me more impatient. After getting the I-20 from the university, it was finally my time to apply for the visa interview . I was happy to see the dates I would personally prefer for the V day in the open state at night. But I couldn't take them, since the visa forms had to be submitted before taking a date. I managed to finish the forms at night, so that I can take the date the very next day early morning.Little did I know that, like me, many people are active at night. By morning, all the dates were already booked. Then the waiting started. I have lost the count of the number of times I selected the values in the dropdown on the vfs site to see the dates available for me and the number of times I saw the message box popup with "No dates available. Check after 24 hrs" message. There started my second wait.

Waiting for dates: Finally after a week, the dates were opened again exactly at a time when I had lost all enthusiasm & was sleeping out of frustration. I always sleep at wrong times. Fortunately this time, after I woke up, the dates were still open & I immediately took 15th July. Stage 2 was over and what a relief it was! Now it was time to get all my documents ready for the visa interview. But waiting was my destiny. So a new crisis had to appear.

Waiting for Loan sanction letter: The bank manager in the bank where I was taking a loan got a transfer and we had to deal with the new manager & explain to him our situation and how we needed a loan sanction letter urgently for the visa interview. But we can't expect them to empathize with us, and they took their own sweet time. Visits to the bank daily & calling them up everyday for reminders became a routine. The day just before the V day, they handed over the loan sanction letter to us which covered half of my I20 amount and thus you can imagine what an important document it was!

Now that I had everything I wanted before the V day, I was waiting for the rains to slow down a little which was pouring like it would finish off its entire stock for the rainy season all on my V day. But it continued to rain with the same vigor and my visa interview did get delayed by almost two hours. But all is well that ends well. Hence I should not complain and stop pouring my wait story.

Pride & Prejudice

Remember Bride & Prejudice-Indian version of Pride and Prejudice? The original story is in a different setting, and is about Mr Bennet's family set in England which gives more justice to each event. Can't say that I found the story line interesting. I found the conversations too formal with
words given more importance than the feelings. Throughout, there was communication by letters, & I wondered that had email existed, it would have solved half of their problems. But still, I was glued to it till the last page.

It is about usual family conversations over breakfast, lunch & dinner. It is about how different characters in the same family have distinct views about a common subject and how their approach towards it creates problems or happiness for the entire family. The pride of Mr Darcy, the character that Miss Elizabeth hates in the beginning and the prejudice that Miss Elizabeth has against Mr Darcy creates a barrier between them and doesn't let her mind peep into the benevolence in him. But Mr Darcy has feelings for Elizabeth which he conveys at the wrong time and in a wrong way and when she rejects his proposal, his pride is deeply hurt ,but makes him think about the reasons for his rejection. Realizing his mistake, the misunderstandings between them are unveiled, their secrets and feelings are communicated which brings about a positive change in both of them. It reduces his pride to the extent that he becomes the most amiable person for Elizabeth. She experiences a total transformation of feelings within herself and is unaware of the time of their inception. The story ends with the 'happily ever after' stuff.

The realization by both of them that the reasons for the existence of their pride and prejudice were justifiable in their respective situations in the past assists them in the discontinuation of their bitter feelings towards each other.

What got me so involved in the story was the critical thinking of the characters about the changing situations they were finding themselves in. At every point, I seemed to agree with the way Miss Elizabeth thought. The ambivalence of Miss Elizabeth's feelings that seemed to emanate from Mr Darcy's previous behavior to her and his behavior to her in the later part showed a perfect picture of the psychology of human thinking. Also, the typical behavior of Elizabeth,(from whose viewpoint the entire story is written); the sensible and the adamant kind, does not falter from pressure of family or non-family members and this is what helps her achieve what she desires.

Obsessions

I am obsessed with the Internet. You can say that's another of my weird obsessions. I never realized it until one day after reaching home from a weekend trip , I thought of resorting to my usual business, when to my surprise, I found that my phone was stark dead. Hearing the silence of the dial tone, I felt my heart beat stop. Usually I am indifferent to problems that occur in our house. There is always someone to take care of it. But in this case, I was on my wits end, when I found that the root cause of it was a major cable fault, which would take weeks to solve, and I was literally feeling sick by digesting this piece of information. I had never felt like this before. Now, you might think, I am exaggerating, but I think I had OCD back then.

I could have utilized my time doing stuff that I usually don't take up because of my preoccupation with Internet on other days, but I simply wasted the day piddling around. I had registered a complaint already, but when my phone showed no signs of life, I became hysterical. Another day passed by without the Internet connection. When it was no longer tolerable, I rushed to the MTNL office to personally request them to take care of the problem, as if they would leave their important work to attend my problem impressed by my personal visit. They assured me that it would be done that day itself, now that their strike was over, of which I wasn’t even aware of. But as expected, it didn't. The next day I trained my mind to stop thinking about the problem and started utilizing my time for work which did not depend on net. And the next day when I had lost all hopes of it and had given up my obsession doing "better" work and having a quality time, the phone suddenly buzzed. It was my friend. I had a chat and after I hung up, the reality struck me. It was like my life was getting back on track again. I was so happy to see the two monitor’s icon glowing brightly back at me from the status bar. Then I wondered how inured my life is to these things. How uncomfortable they can make a person with its absence. But at the same time I realized, that rational thinking can help you get over it.

The moral of the story: Don't let your life depend on someone or something so much, that it becomes a habit. If at all you do, then make sure, that thing does not ruin your life by disappearing or acting weird all of a sudden. In the worst case, if that thing does end up ruining your life, then think rationally about what better things you can do without it and by thinking if it really deserved that much attention. If you fail at that too, then god help you!

Maximum City

After reading this book authored by Suketu Mehta, I felt like, I just had a Mumbai darshan, but not through rose tinted glasses for sure. He has excellently focused on every aspect of Mumbai- the immigrants, politics, politicians and their hypocrisy, the red light areas, bar dancers and their lives, religions and their customs, the giants from film industry and not to mention the riots & his interaction with the underworld dons, which contributed to a major part in the book. After reading all that, I am convinced that Mumbai is indeed a very "happening" city.

Everything you ought to know about it as a city, you are sure to find it in the book. And everything that you haven't heard of from the media, will come as a surprise when you read this book. But, after all the unforgettable events that took place here after his book got published, I am sure any number of sequels would be insufficient to portray the colors of Mumbai and the life of a Mumbaikar.

Clean Mumbai , Green Mumbai

Everyone might have seen this slogan at bus stops, railway stations, public parks, cinema halls. But the irony is, you will find someone littering the place or spitting exactly where this slogan in huge letters stands. Maybe they are trying to hide it. Some times I also witness the 'Clean Mumbai' drives organized by some communities involving college students cleaning up the streets in the hope to inspire the citizens to do the same. But has it really been successful in cleaning the attitude of those countless people who are responsible for it? All they know is their life & cleaning their homes and they very casually throw the wrappers, tickets and anything in the unwanted and unneeded category in their hands or mouth at that point of time on the roads. I feel sorry for their kids, who will be getting the same habits from their parents and sadly this custom will go on for years. This has to stop somewhere! At least we can expect this from the educated crowd. Today, in our busy lives, we have become so accustomed to this, that we hardly even notice our neighbor in the train or bus doing it, let alone taking some steps to prevent it.

Everywhere there are huge piles of plastic stuff accumulated over the years. I see dogs, cats & sometimes even cattle searching food in those bags & the poor creatures sometimes even eat the leftovers along with the plastic bags. There is a consistent red color belt in between the tracks, the source of which I need not explain. The subways are filthy with dirt, waste, spitoon & red 'pichkaris'. I particularly use this word, because that is what the people consider their mouths to be. Its a wonder if you can pass through it without holding a handkerchief up your nose. I keep a habit of maintaining safe distance when walking alongside a waiting rickshaw or bus, because you never know, what might land up on your head or your dress. It's pointless to explain the scenes that you are also a witness to in daily life. Its the same everywhere & we just need to be more aware of our surroundings & their causes to act on it.

Here in Mumbai, its a 'sab chalta hai' attitude and a 'rasta tumhara hain kya?' response if you ever try to do good by forbidding the person to spit or throw garbage on the road. On the other hand, he/she will also give you a fresh demo about how helpless you are in changing him/her by repeating the deed in front of your eyes again. Nevertheless, you might even know of people who have different rules for disposing waste in India & abroad. What can be the solution for this?

The ATTITUDE is the problem. Unless there is payment of your hard earned money as compensation for these deeds, nobody will even care to stop. I think volunteers for this drive can take up the charge & have valid identity cards & power in their hands to demand money from such people. And when people realize that anyone in the crowd they are standing or sitting in can be a member of that drive, they will think twice before spitting in public places or littering it. The money collected in this way can in turn go to the BMC or charity. I am sure they will earn millions this way. What the responsible people need is power in their hands to handle the irresponsible that they meet everyday.

I am ready to be such a member of any such drives that gives me this power to stand up & speak without being humiliated by the miscreant. After all, isn't that what is being expected from a true Mumbaikar? I am sure you would agree. Any suggestions, comments or views on improving the current scene are welcome.

Its raining dogs & dogs.......

I had decided I would start with my own blog at any cost today.There were so many things to write on, and as my mind was in the midst of selecting the topic for my first post, it suddenly dawned on me to write on something which I would truly love to have- a true selfless companion, who would never betray me, no matter what.

So here's my first post dedicated wholeheartedly to the sweetest & cutest being ever on this earth, according to me, though many who have had canine bites won't agree.I truly empathize with the feelings of those who have been through a bad experience, and hereby request you not to read my post.This includes my brother first. And not recommended for people who are anti-canine. My mom falls in this category.

Well, I have a crazy affinity for these creatures, god knows why. Maybe I was a dog in my last birth, if anyone believes in rebirth, but an astrology software says that I was a cat. So, maybe the software is wrong. You might think of me having a menagerie here in my house, me being so mad about them, but sadly that's not the case either, even though I would have loved to choose that way. Well, here's the story. When I was a kid, I wanted to have a parrot & it so turned out that my so convincing mom somehow convinced me that these poor creatures curse people when we trap them in their cages. I being a kid, was reluctant to listen to her, but being god fearing, I understood that it would be cruel on my part to do that & tried to be in that parrot's shoes...erm..claws i mean ,and perceived myself as a monster -a cruel and a thin one unlike the stereotypes.So,I just dropped the idea that very day at the moment of that very thought. I don't regret my decision at all today.

My desire to have a pet had died for a while, when one day we went to my dad's old childhood friend who had this huge Doberman named Commando. It was so well taught to behave that it didn't seem to me like a dog, leave alone a Doberman. It hardly barked and used a rug to clean its feet not to mention the hugs that it gave to people to welcome them. It didn't even leave my mom here, who was damn scared by this act. Its constant wandering in the house and sniffing at things and giving an acknowledging look at things that seemed normal to it, licking my dad's friend all the time and getting pats in return turned the environment so lively and youthful that my nearly dormant desire to have at least one pet suddenly revived. And there started my second craze- for the canines. There was never a paucity of them in my neighborhood. But I was strictly forbidden to feed them, lest the nuisance the street dogs are capable of creating in the building premises would be intolerable. I think, I can never succeed in my mission to convince my mom on this topic, because whenever I do , I get scary looks and the topic ends.

These are some lovely creatures who are many more times faithful than men ..ok women too. Why should anyone hate them so much, to the extent to stop others who love them, from having them? I am sure people do have bad experiences, but isn't that part of everyone's life? Unexpected things do happen. I strongly feel individual desires should be respected, and should not be suppressed. Don't these beings teach us many things in life that we don't learn in the human company-to bypass the cosmetic look and look at the real individual within, to love unconditionally and expect nothing in return. I feel that, to have this bundle of energy and life by your side always is a unique experience . All these qualities, maybe existing in rare quantities in humans, makes me care more for these creatures. I hope that I will be able to convince my mom on this some day.

Then maybe I would write another post on strategies of convincing family members, especially moms who many of us find very hard to convince :)